You always think you have more time of course
with your loved ones than you do.
One day we were out walking and she said to me, she said,
“You know, it looks like I'm going to die."
Emily had told us that if you get two people knocking
at your door, one being an officer
and the other one being a chaplain,
then you know what happened.
So when I opened the door that's who was standing there.
So I was like, “Look, you got the wrong house."
I closed the door.
There must be an accident.
There must be a mistake. Something.
In my family you don't go fishing and die.
I never expected to write an obituary
for my mom before the age of 30.
And so it was like my world just stopped.
I'm thinking, “Oh, so this is what grief is."
I got sick to my stomach, and I just started throwing up.
Once they, you know, closed that casket lid,
and I knew I wasn't going to see her anymore, I think that's
when it finally hit me.
I really felt I was responsible
for putting my mother down into this deep, cold, damp ground.
And she's going to be so cold.
Even though I know this isn't all true.
My mom and I have talked about the fact that we kind
of wish we had had her funeral videotaped because we were there
in person, but our, you know,
our brains were just all over the place.
I remember before we closed the casket I remember, you know,
there being too many people around me.
So I get upset now because like they didn't give me my time
to say goodbye the way I wanted to.
I was surprised at people's responses around me.
They just assumed that I'd be fine, and so, you know,
someone stayed with me for a couple days afterward.
And then it was me and the house.
I was able to get the funeral together, and then I was done.
I stopped functioning.
I stopped living at that point.
Like these people, right now
you are probably wondering how
to get through your grief
or even how to find enough energy
to do the basic things you need to take care of.
Hi, my name is David Guthrie, and this is my wife Nancy.
Like you, we've faced the pain of losing someone we love.
In fact, we've buried two of our three children.
A daughter, Hope, and a son, Gabriel.
As we faced our daughter's death,
I wondered what grief would be like, how it would change me
and my relationships, how long it would
dominate my thoughts and emotions.
The unknowns of grief generated a lot
of fear and anxiety for me.
We understand that you're probably experiencing the same thing.
And we're glad you've come here for help.
Over these next 13 weeks, GriefShare will introduce
to you counselors, teachers, pastors, psychologists,
and people just like you who have experienced grief.
They will help you understand
that what you're feeling is normal and provide you
with insight and practical information
that will guide you toward healing.
We are here to walk with you
and your fellow GriefShare group members
through the grief process.
And if nothing else, we hope to serve as a weekly reminder
to you that with God's help it is possible
to move beyond being consumed by your grief.
That indeed you can make the journey from mourning to joy.
Welcome to GriefShare.
[ Music]
Male Narrator: GriefShare is designed
to help you make the difficult journey of grief.
As you participate in the group, you'll discover
that others have walked this journey ahead of you
and that there is hope.
Your hosts for the GriefShare videos are David and Nancy Guthrie.
David and Nancy live with their son Matthew
in Nashville, Tennessee.
In addition to Matthew,
the Guthrie's also had two other children, Hope and Gabriel.
As they will share with you,
Hope and Gabriel both died a few months after they were born.
David and Nancy were transformed by their grief experience.
And now they have a burden to help other grieving people.
As a result, Nancy has written many books on the subject of grief
including “Holding on to Hope," “The One-Year Book of Hope,"
“When Your Family's Lost a Loved One,"
and “Hearing Jesus Speak into Your Sorrow."
Additionally, since 2009,
David and Nancy have hosted weekend retreats for couples
who have lost children.
Your GriefShare experience consists
of three essential components all designed to help you heal
from the pain of grief.
Each of the 13 sessions will include a video
like the one you're watching.
You'll hear from top experts on grief issues,
and you'll also hear from people who have lost loved ones.
After viewing the video sessions, you'll enter
into a small group discussion
about the information you've seen.
You'll also have the opportunity to share
about the specific challenges you're facing.
But please relax.
You don't have to talk in this group if you don't want to.
Simply hearing what others are going through can be encouraging.
So plan to stay through the discussion.
Your workbook is a crucial component
to your GriefShare experience.
You'll benefit the most from this course
if you have your own copy.
And be sure to bring it each week.
The workbook outline corresponds to the video material.
So you can take notes.
Plus the workbook contains daily exercises with stories of others
who have been through grief.
If you have questions about how to get a workbook,
speak to your group leader.
Before we get underway, we'd like to give you a snapshot
of what you will see on the video.
This is the third edition of GriefShare,
and much of the material is new.
But we've also included some of the time-tested
and most popular video clips from previous editions.
We call these video clips GriefShare classic material.
And while fashions and hairstyles might have changed,
don't assume the material is not relevant.
In fact, when you see a GriefShare classic clip,
you should pay even more attention to what is being said
because group members have told us it's the most helpful video
from earlier editions of GriefShare.
And with that, we are ready to begin.
Here are your hosts, David and Nancy Guthrie.
[ Street noise]
Nancy: After the death of someone you love,
one of the first things you notice is that most
of the world is going on as if nothing has happened.
It's like life in this busy town, people are going to work,
going to school, they are shopping and playing
like everything is normal.
But for you, life is anything but normal.
In today's session, we' ll help you understand why grief
erases any sense of normalcy, how the pressure
to appear normal can affect the way you grieve,
and what normal grief looks like.
We will also help you to understand what to do
until you arrive at what we like to call a new normal.
Wed like to begin by reassuring you
that even though everyone around you may be living
as if nothing has happened, it's OK.
It's perfectly normal for your experience of grief
to feel intense and chaotic.
What I feel is beyond pain.
It's beyond sadness.
For me it was like a series of explosions
that didn't make any sound.
Many people think basically, “I'm going crazy."
Grief is as close to hell as we have to get.
I felt as if I were reeling in outer space,
a million miles away from anybody.
The Earth is different, you know,
a person who was here is not here.
You're like on a roller coaster ride.
You're up and down, round and round, upside down.
You wake up in the morning, and you think,
“Oh, my. I thought I saw them standing at the foot of the bed," or,
“I thought I heard the baby cry in the other room."
Or, “Did you smell their perfume or their aftershave lotion?"
Or you are at the mall, and you're walking along
and you see somebody that was dressed the way your loved one
used to dress, and their gait is the same or the hair color
or their skin, and you think, “Look at them. That's them."
I mean, I thought I was going crazy.
Let me assure you, you're not going crazy.
I mean grief makes you do strange things.
I remember being in the garage looking for an old set of tools,
and the telephone rang.
So you know what I did?
I said, “Martha, will you get that?
Martha, will you get that?"
I mean, I don't know what I was thinking.
It's been six months.
You think I'd realize she's gone.
I don't know.
I'll bet some of you have done that too.
[ Music]
Dr. DeVries: Somebody who is grieving really has to
acknowledge or recognize the fact that grief
affects our entire person, our entire being.
[ Music]
And people who are grieving do some very strange things.
Gail: For instance, in my employment,
there were many times when I would work on a project,
and I thought I was done, and everything was good,
and it would get returned to me with lots
of mistakes, really dumb mistakes.
Things that I should have known better.
I remember being in a hospital when she died.
And I remember her memorial service.
And I pretty much don't remember anything after
that for a couple of months.
I got to a restaurant, and I couldn't decide what to eat.
I couldn't decide what to wear.
Normally, I had been a very organized person.
I ran a house of seven people.
Five kids going here, there, everywhere.
You know, I knew where everyone and everything was,
and that wasn't the case anymore.
I was surprised by my inability to concentrate.
This is why we tell people be careful when you're
driving because this is a time of your life when
you're most likely to get a ticket or have an accident.
And I'll say, “Have you ever been driving,
and you don't remember the last 10 blocks?"
And they say, “Oh my goodness.
Yes. It's like I woke up down here,
and I wondered what happened in last 10 blocks."
And that's happened to me as well.
About a month after my husband died, I was
picking up my son in the car pool line and sitting
there, driving up, waiting to get to, you know,
to the spot where the kids get in the car.
I got up to the front of the line, I waited there
for a moment and I drove away.
And it wasn't until I was near the exit that I realized
that my son wasn't in the car.
I just really didn't have the focus I needed
to do my job well.
I eventually lost that job actually.
I remember one young man that talked to me after a shooting
in a high school, he said,
“I knew all this material before the shooting.
Now I go back, and it's like I've never seen it before.
What happened to my brain?
It's like it just wiped it out."
And this is what grief does to us.
The first couple of months it was
like I was thinking through jell-O.
I had to like push a thought
through my head to its conclusion.
Nothing came naturally or easily or smoothly.
Even though you may feel like you can't go on,
it's common to feel pressure, real or imagined,
to act like you're not hurting.
Nancy: You might even be trying to hide
your pain to keep from bothering others.
You might be thinking that by now I should be
better or that if you were more mature spiritually
you wouldn't grieve like this.
There was sort of this underlying implication
that if you really love God you're not going to cry.
I hid behind Bible verses a lot.
We put on a courageous face.
People thought I was fine.
I always told them I was fine.
I had a sense that I am a Christian, I have the joy
of the Lord, and wham, now I'm hit
with something that rocks my world.
Are people going to see my struggle and think,
“Well that faith isn't really real?"
So many people told me, “Be strong."
Then some people they esteem you, “Wow,
and the fact that you did your mother's eulogy,
your father's eulogy, it's just amazing
that you were able to do that."
“I can't believe you're so strong."
Or, “You need to be strong for your girls."
So I hid a lot of bitterness and a lot
of lousy attitude by that spirituality.
Now, some of you aren't comforted by the fact
that it is normal for grief to be a painful experience.
You may say, “Even if it is normal, it isn't helping me."
In fact, you don't care that it's normal.
You just want it to stop.
That's why it's important for you to understand why
grief is such a totally consuming experience.
As you listen to what follows, you'll discover
that there are actually good and honorable reasons
why you hurt so deeply and for so long.
Grief is the celebration of a good gift
from God through tears.
Because if there were no love, there'd be no grief.
For example, if a couple has had a marvelous
marriage for 40 years or 50 years or 60 years,
and now that spouse has passed away,
of course it is going to be hard for them.
We should all expect that individual is going
to be struggling right now.
But that struggle actually is evidence
of the beauty of their marriage.
We are not going to be able to hug them,
touch them, experience life together.
So I think that's what hurts the most.
I mean, we had plans to break
out of the nursing home together.
Grief is actually, it's a good thing.
It's a sign of love.
It's a sign that God brought a blessing
into my life that was precious.
And I want to cherish it.
And one of the ones that I celebrate the goodness
of that gift is through the sadness that I feel.
Grief is the price you pay for loving someone.
So the only way to avoid grief is never to love.
Nancy: Jesus also experienced grief.
So know that when you are sad, Jesus felt that way too.
Dr. Tripp: One of the great things we have
in Scripture is we do have an example of one perfect person
who lived on Earth, never made a mistake,
never had a failure, and never sinned.
And you can look to that person for an example.
And Christ wept before the tomb of a dear friend.
That should give us some indication
that weeping is not only not wrong, it's very appropriate.
David: By now you should understand that it's appropriate
for your grief experience to be painful.
So give yourself permission
to honestly express your feelings.
Zig: Sometimes people will say, “Well, now you got to be brave.
You got to be strong."
Listen, when you're grieving that's not the time to
be brave. That's not the time to be strong.
And you don't need to tell somebody else that,
you need to be human.
You know, the fact that the Bible says that we are not
to grieve as those that have no hope.
Some people stop and put the period
after we're not to grieve.
And there comes a pretended piety, a supposition
that creates a false kind of human response
that God doesn't expect.
Faith is not denial.
God never calls us to ignore our pain.
I've learned in order to be strong you have to be weak.
There's nothing wrong to cry.
That don't mean that you are weak.
Men don't cry.
Well, I'm sorry.
I cry.
Learning how to just live day to day with the ups and downs of emotion
with the joys and the sorrows became more important
to me than trying to be this strong, joyful Christian.
Nancy: Once you give yourself permission to grieve,
expect to feel less ashamed for grieving so intensely.
And as you are more honest with yourself and others
about your grief, you'll find yourself more open to help
from God, friends, and family.
God meets us where we are not where we pretend to be and not
where we wish we were.
Dr. Viars: God doesn't expect us
to put a plastic smile on a broken heart.
God values authenticity.
He values when we choose to be real with Him.
And so I think it's marvelous as we're grieving for us to cry
out to Him just like David did in Psalm 61.
“Hear my cry, O God;
attend unto my prayer
when my heart is overwhelmed:
lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
I can't get to understanding God as my rock unless I'm willing
to acknowledge that my heart is broken.
Unless I'm willing to acknowledge that I am feeling overwhelmed.
If you're hurting, you know, let people know you're hurting
and not to say I'm just fine.
Cause if you say you're fine people won't come around.
When a person opens up and shares,
then the person will receive compassion and love
and comfort from others.
But if I'm not sharing,
then other people don't know I'm hurting.
Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
But if you don't take time to mourn you are not going
to be able to be comforted.
Now, we realize that for some
of you it would feel completely abnormal
to express your grief visibly by crying
or through other outward emotions.
That's because everyone grieves differently.
Perhaps you feel like you don't have time to grieve
because of new responsibilities resulting
from your loved one's death.
In upcoming sessions,
we'll address the different ways people grieve and how to grieve
when it seems you don't have time for it.
Nancy: But for now it's important for you to remember that trying
to suppress your grief will not help you get better faster
but will more likely hinder your healing.
Dr. Moitinho: Suppressing the emotions in the long-term is not going
to be healthy for you.
When you don't express them it's like you've put them
into a container, and that container has a certain capacity.
And if you keep putting the feelings in there,
pretty soon it's filled up, and then it begins to overflow.
And it's like what I have said so many times
that when you repress your emotions or your feelings
and bury them, you've buried them alive.
And some day there is going to be a resurrection,
but you won't be in charge of them, and they will come
out at maybe the most inappropriate times.
For example, if you're grieving the loss of someone,
and you're trying to suppress all the feelings,
you don't want to talk about it, you're blocking it.
But you're going and overworking yourself.
You're hiding behind your work.
Suddenly, you're irritable at your coworkers.
Or you're not as tolerant with your customers any more.
Or you have trouble getting out of bed.
Or you're just constantly fussing and complaining
and whining or something.
You're not connecting that these reactions are associated
with your blocking off the feelings.
But it's a result of it because you're suppressing emotions.
So as you release those emotions you'll become more relaxed,
and then you're less irritable.
You're less intolerant.
So far in this session, we've identified that many people
around you will return to their busy lives
while you are still hurting deeply.
We've discovered why grief makes life anything but normal
and why it's natural to grieve.
As we continue in this session, we'll review some
of the characteristics of a typical grief experience.
Unfortunately we don't have time to cover ever possible response
to the death of a loved one,
but we' ll address some common manifestations of grief.
You'll learn many others in our upcoming sessions.
If you're worried about how you're coping
with grief right now, please check out the list
in your workbook called "Common Responses
To The Death Of A Loved One."
You'll find it right after this week's note-taking section.
If you don't see what you're looking for there,
don't hesitate to talk with your group leader or a pastor
from the church hosting your group.
They'll be able to help you assess how you're responding to your loss.
[ Music]
Many people mistakenly assume that it's normal to move
through distinct stages of grief.
But many who have been
through the grief experience will tell you there's no way
that grief is orderly or predictable.
In fact, it often feels like you're experiencing multiple
emotions at one time.
David: Some have even described grief
as a tangled ball of emotions.
Anne: Some emotions were good.
Joy and happiness and peace.
Those things I did feel.
And then at the same time I was angry.
You may feel guilty in one moment and then feel relieved.
You're serving your family and you're taking care
of your mom and it's something that you want to do,
but yet you're frustrated about it.
It's like you try to figure out why, you know, why am I angry?
The pain was resonating back and forth.
And I couldn't find a way out.
You know just all of these emotions,
this tangled ball almost.
“Is this normal?"
“Am I going crazy?"
Sabrina: And so I think sometimes it confuses people
because they feel like they're not handling it well
when really those are normal emotions and normal experiences
that people go through.
Male Narrator: It's normal for grief to be overwhelming,
but it's never normal to consider suicide.
If your pain is so intense that you're thinking
about ending your life,
Dr. Howsepian has some important advice for you.
The most dangerous way to proceed
if you're having suicidal thoughts is not telling anyone
that you're having such thoughts.
So talking to someone about having these thoughts,
talking to a loved one, someone
that you trust is an important first step
in getting the help that you need.
One other thing to say about suicide is also
to remind oneself that those are transient as well.
Suicidal thoughts come and they go, and it's important
for someone who is struggling with those thoughts
to remind himself that those thoughts will eventually dissipate.
Before we move on to the next point,
we should clarify one thing about suicide.
Be sure to distinguish between being suicidal and feeling
like you just don't want to go on.
It's normal to feel like you don't want to go on,
but if you are having suicidal thoughts
or are making concrete plans to end your life, it is an emergency.
And you need immediate help.
And I often would lay in bed and bawl at night saying,
you know, “God, I'm stuck here with all this mess.
I am supposed to put my life together again and out
of nothing now because it feels like nothing
and make something of it?
I'd just as soon die.
You know, if it's OK with you just have me die in my sleep
or have me die sometime.
But it's fine with me.
I'm ready to die."
Some people might think, “Oh, was she suicidal?"
And I'd say no there's a big difference between not caring
if you die, I really didn't feel like it would be a problem
if I would die, but I wasn't actively going
to do anything to cause my death.
And that's the distinct difference
between being suicidal where I really am intent
on not being here, on ending my life,
and I'm going to have a plan.
That's irrational.
That's unhealthy.
That's unscriptural.
That's not OK.
And you need to get help immediately.
You need to contact either the ER or a suicide prevention line
or your pastor or somebody who you know will be good
at taking action to get you some help.
[ Music]
You may feel hopeless and wonder,
“How could things get better?"
Your spouse, child, mother, father,
or friend isn't coming back.
You'll never celebrate another holiday with them.
Many around you seem to have returned
to their normal, busy existence.
But even though life will never return
to the way it was before, you don't have to feel the weight
of pain you feel now forever.
Carol: My husband died in the late fall,
but in the early days of my widowhood I really didn't think I would make it to spring.
I was surprised that I made it another day,
and then I made it through a week,
and then we made it through a month.
There will be little ounces of joy that will come
into your life, and you'll laugh or you'll smile,
and you won't realize it until after you've done it.
And you'll think, “Oh, you know what?
I just smiled.
I just laughed."
And so I was really surprised when spring came
that I was still alive.
Even five years down the road, it's better every day.
And there's a time to mourn the Bible says,
and so it's appropriate that you should mourn.
It will hurt.
You'll experience pain.
And it will hurt for a long time.
It won't hurt forever, and it won't hurt
with the same intensity that you feel now.
I don't know how.
I don't know when.
But I know I'm going to get through it.
If you noticed, we've described grief as a painful journey.
In other words, you're going to hurt for a while.
And, again, it's normal.
But what do you do until you no longer hurt as much,
as long, or as frequently?
Nancy: Here are a few suggestions.
The first is lean into your grief.
Sandy: I called a girlfriend of mine who had lost a little boy
three years before to leukemia.
His name was Dawson, and he was five.
And I asked her, “Karen,” I said, “How do you do this?"
And she said, you know, she said,
“I am going to tell you something that sounds maybe kind
of cold," after she had cried with me and prayed with me
and just listened, she said,
“The best thing I can tell you is to lean into it."
And she said, “just take it like waves of an ocean.
Don't try to run from it.
Don't try to numb it.
Don't try to pretend it isn't so.
It's part of your life.
So feel everything.
Smell everything.
Be in all the moments because later they'll be something
that you treasure even though that seems strange now."
Leaning into your grief may mean that you occasionally cry
in front of other people.
That may be the last thing in the world you want to do.
But we encourage you not to be so afraid of it.
That first semester I began teaching three weeks after he passed away.
Because I would be up at the board writing,
and all of a sudden tears would just
start streaming down my face.
I'm walking into piano lessons with my children sobbing
and just being able to learn how to let go of trying
to have it all together,
let go of not letting people see me grieving.
Let go of my kids not seeing me so sad,
and just in a crazy way embracing this.
To embrace it you don't have to like it.
That's not what that means.
But it just means, let it take you where it will.
It's a very emotional time.
And so emotions take time.
Somebody has to sit and wait for you to finish crying.
Somebody has to wait for you
to get your words together, you know?
And there is no way around it.
I guess there is a way around it.
But it's just not a healthy way to hold it inside.
But if it's uncomfortable for you and so you're afraid
that you're going to cry and make yourself
and somebody else uncomfortable,
I'd encourage you to tell yourself over and over
that we wouldn't grieve if we didn't love.
Nancy: Here's something else you should do while you wait
for your emotions to stabilize.
Avoid making big decisions.
We all know that a small problem can be hugely distracting.
You'll, you know, you're getting ready to go to work
and you notice the envelope on the table, and you open it up,
and it's a bill that you weren't expecting.
Well, that can distract you during the day at work.
So how hugely mentally disruptive is grief?
And what I would say to people is that in this moment
when things are so powerfully emotional
and so clearly disrupted, don't make any big decisions.
And by major I mean like selling the house,
changing jobs, doing things that deciding to date
and marry somebody else.
People do some really crazy things in the grief process
because they think that they're always going
to feel the way that they do.
Somebody will say, 'Well, you know, I just can't live
in this house anymore. I am just going to sell it."
Well, after you've sold it you realize you were there
for 30 years, and you have so many memories that are there,
and you've taken away the opportunity
to process those memories with your loved one who has died
because you're no longer in that home.
And so you need to take time to talk with other people
about this, to pray about it, and to just look at the pros
and the cons of any major decision for a while.
Sometimes people in the midst of their grief,
especially if they've lost a spouse, weeks and months go
by and they're lonely.
And in their loneliness they can try to form a new relationship
in order to replace the one who is gone.
And that can just be a disaster.
Sometimes you can't avoid making big decisions.
Perhaps you have to sell your house or you face foreclosure.
Maybe you have to move away from where you've lived
for a long time to live with family or into a new place
where you can receive proper medical care.
So, what do you do in those situations?
There are a lot of times when death demands decision,
and it cannot be postponed.
I think the most important thing for you,
if that's your situation, is to really pray about the person
who is able to give you really competent advice,
a person who is a strong and committed Christian,
but also knowledgeable in the area.
I mean try to find at least one person in your life
that you know cares about you
and that would help you make rational decisions about things
that affect you now or things
that may affect you in the future.
Lorraine: Like, for example, if it's a real estate decision,
someone who could really help you in that area
if it's a business decision someone who knows that business
because you probably feel like your mind is mush,
and like you just can't think clearly to make any decisions.
Ask God to put the right people in your path who can help you.
Sometimes the pain of grief is so intense that it's hard
to envision getting through the next few days or even hours.
Nancy: Some of the best advice we've heard is just do the next thing.
Karen: just take the next right step.
And those words stuck.
Just do the next right thing.
And I'm still doing that.
You have to do what's before you.
You have to do the next thing.
And that's OK if that's all you get done is the next thing.
When you listen to people who have been
through bereavement already.
They will oftentimes say a few similar things.
One thing they'll say is, “Do the next thing."
It sounds like fairly shallow counsel granted,
but what they're trying to say is grief and suffering can feel
like such a weight that it can immobilize you.
And it can feel like once you're
immobilized you will never start again.
So often times they will say things, OK, “Do the next thing."
What is the next thing?
And it can be very, very ordinary.
It can be getting a glass of water.
It could be brushing your teeth.
It could be taking a shower.
It could be making a phone call.
It could be vacuuming.
It could be going to work.
Our last suggestion is this, commit to your GriefShare group.
I know that sounds self-serving but we believe
that GriefShare can help you understand what lies ahead
and give you invaluable insights on how to deal
with the challenges you'll face.
Knowing what's ahead won't lessen your pain,
but it will keep you from feeling like you're going crazy
and reduce the chances that you'll make an unwise decision
that adds more complexity
to your already difficult circumstances.
David: Listen to what others who are familiar with GriefShare have
to say about how you'll benefit
by committing to this group.
It took my wife a lot to convince me
to attend a GriefShare meeting like I don't want
to go hear people talk about their loss.
I'm already hurting already.
Why do I want to possibly sit around and listen
to other people cry and say how much they lost someone?
But through her prodding I went the first day, and I'm like yes,
this is what I need to do.
I needed to be in a situation where I could talk freely
about my feelings and my grief and not feel
like that I was causing other people to be uncomfortable.
I don't know of any other way of finding healing that is not
in the context of finding others who can help you.
You need some time of solitude.
But I don't know if people truly healing from trauma or grief
that can do it on their own with some books,
with some audio, with some videos.
When I heard other people speak about what they were going
through and the things that happened to them, it helped me
to see myself in their stories.
It helped me to know that, “Hey, it's OK to grieve.
Grief is natural, it's normal."
It was wonderful to know that you're not crazy,
that you're not alone, that there's others that are
out there for you, you know, and with you.
It shows so much courage the fact that you're sitting here.
And I can't tell you that this is going to be an easy process,
but I think it's a worthwhile process.
And the more you are able to open up your heart
to your own emotions, and the more that you are able
to connect with others as they share their emotion,
the more you'll be able to heal.
As you open your heart to what you are going through,
whatever it is, you will start feeling less fear
as you go through the process.
So I know it is very hard to take that first step,
but most of the time it gets easier from here.
Male Narrator: Committing to a GriefShare group is one
of the best things you can do to help yourself heal
from the pain of grief.
Each week you'll see a video like this one.
Then you'll form a small group and discuss what you've learned.
Remember, if you don't want
to share during the discussion you don't have to.
Just listening will help you realize you're not the only one
dealing with intense feelings of sorrow and loneliness.
If you're not sure you want
to attend all thirteen GriefShare sessions,
make a personal commitment to come to the next three sessions,
then you'll know better whether GriefShare will help you.
Gail: I can't emphasize enough how important that workbook is.
The videos in GriefShare are great.
Discussion time is great.
But our individual time with the Lord
through our grief is maybe more important than the other two.
And the workbook really helps us to think about specific things
that we can go to the Lord about.
Your GriefShare workbook is a key part
of your healing process.
If you don't have one, be sure
to ask your group leader about how to get one.
That way, you can try to work on this week's daily
From Mourning to Joy exercises.
If you don't have the strength to do them all, it's OK.
Just do what you can.
When Debbie lost her daughter,
she didn't want to go on.
Find out how she found the strength to move forward
in this week's GriefShare workbook exercises.
During the next session of GriefShare,
discover why grief is such a challenging experience.
Shay: It's like a heavy weight on me some days
where I can't even get dressed.
I can't even get out of the bed.
I would do things, enjoyable experiences, work experiences,
but it wasn't quite the same.
Our physical self is affected by grief.
Our behavioral self is affected and also our spiritual.
Thanks again for joining us.
We hope you'll be encouraged by your group discussion.
We' ll see you next time.